The Word Wizard Dog Bore
How did you meet your canine companion?
I met Dave on a blind date. The day before, I'd called our greyhound adoption program here in SA 'just to enquire' about fostering a dog. 23 hours later, I was pulling into the racetrack carpark to meet my mystery canine crush. And there was Dave, sporting a bright blue ‘L Plate’ jacket, standing with his trainer on the grass, wagging his tail and dipping his head deferentially. On closer inspection, I saw dandruff blooming from beneath his coat. He was black, but dull. He was quiet, shy and cosmically sweet. I took the lead, signed the papers, ushered Dave into my cramped car and grinned all the way home. It was love at first sight.
What’s the story behind your dog’s name?
Ha! Daaaaaaave. It's a relic of his racing days - emblematic of an industry that churns through pups like they're going out of fashion (which, hopefully, racing greyhounds are). Short of more traditional dog names, his trainers dubbed him 'Davo' - and it stuck.
How has your life changed since you have had your dog?
I like that this question asks 'since you've HAD your dog' - like Dave is a creature I gave birth to. Because it's something I joke about all the time! 'This is my son Dave. Yes, yes, he takes after his father. No, the claws weren't a problem.' He's my #1 priority, and has added an anchor to my selfish writerly life. Channelling love into another being - animal, vegetable, human - is the kind of therapy we all need - especially those of us making a living from thinking, burrowing deep into our own brains 'til we risk turning inside out. Dave has forced me to look outwards, helped me stay sane. He's been my beach buddy, road-trip co-pilot and beating hot water bottle in the middle of winter. Life is better with Dave.
Which 3 words best describe your dog’s personality?
Derp. Velcro. Lobotomised.
Who’s your dog’s favourite person?
Uh, it's me.
What’s your dog’s superpower?
Pogo-Pup Mode. Give Dave a locked glass door and someone on the other side, coming home after a long day, and witness Pogo Pup. Bouncing vertically like he's on springs/steroids, the heights he can reach are insane.
If your dog had a job, what would it be?
He does have a job! Posing for totally natural (staged) Instagram shots are pandering to his fans. Dave was born to be an aloof and airbrushed celeb.
What’s your dog’s most unappealing / most embarrassing habit?
When Dave yawns, it's like a dislocated python jaw - super wide, with a big forceful exhale. Combined with breath that smells worse than a basket of rotting seafood, it's disastrous for nearby humans.
Where can we find you hanging out with your dog?
We hang at the beach, whenever possible. Sandy paws + salty fur make for happy pups and humans. Dave sprints along the waterline like a fighter jet, sending shards of broken water flying. I scramble to capture it on camera, when I should enjoy the moment. So majestic. So #greyhound.
Finish this sentence "a dog walks into a bar….”
...and asks for a fluffy duck. No chaser - he's got that sorted.